(I know I have some other tweets about “the trade” which I’ll find in review. Then I’ll turn this into an article about it.)
selflathing
realized during a long walk today that i’ve been using “make up a guy and get mad at them” as a “don’t do that” rule: hey buddy, you’re fighting ghosts! dismissing my feelings, over and over
the guy i made up that i’m getting mad at is my heart wanting something to be different. so many lessons just waiting to be found! papered over with “don’t waste your time”, as if feeling my feelings could ever be a waste of time
today i listened to my heart, and heard about “the trade”, where i dismiss my own feelings and center those of others so i can manage their dysregulation
selflathing
core transformation on this: “the trade” of dismissing my feelings; because i want to be loved; because i want to relax; because i want to Be
https://t.co/wf5Y8sv0Nz
with Being, relaxation turns into a generative force; love stops being needy and is instead for the joy of interaction; our feelings belong to each of us
wild to think how this belief has permeated my life. how many times have i manufactured “the trade” unnecessarily? how many times have i demanded it of others? countless, i’m sure
all evil karma ever created by me since of old: now i atone for it all 🙏
selflathing
i talked to claude and goddamn it, it’s the trade again
but a particularly twisted version: instead of “if i accommodate your needs, you have to meet mine”, it’s “you’re not even giving me the information i need to accommodate your needs!”