You know how you want to be invited to parties? Well, so does everyone else. Do everyone the favour and host one!
I am an introvert. Throwing parties is effort for me – at a recent party, my cat and I both got overwhelmed and ducked out to the guest room for a little recovery.
But throwing parties is not hard, if you do it in a way that’s right for you. The way that’s right for me is:
I throw the kinds of parties I want to attend
This guarantees that at least I will be having a good time.
The goal is for the party to run itself
I want to spend most of my time during the party as an attendee, enjoying the party. So I put all the effort in before the party: making my space nice, and making there be an obvious way to do things. There’s also enough people there who are familiar with my home that other people can answer the “where’s the trash?” questions without having to bug me every time.
During the party, I try to talk to everyone, and I’ll occasionally chime in and ask if folks want something to drink. But most of the time I am engaging with whatever interests me.
I don’t cook
Cooking ties you to the kitchen, and means you have to bounce between welcoming guests who are coming in, actually doing the cooking, and managing the people who are in your kitchen because they either want to chat or help but are actually getting horribly in your way.
I either get people to bring food or order in. I will sometimes fire up the grill, but the rules will be “bring what you want for the grill”. Fairly early I will hand off the grill to an unsuspecting victim and then escape.
Anyone who brings stuff has to take it home with them – I do not want a fridge full of random leftovers. Similarly, everything is on disposable plates and cups – I do not want a sink full of dishes either.
My invitees all mostly know each other
Most of them have all worked for the same employer at some time or another, so I don’t have to do too much in the way of making introductions. This cuts down a lot on the amount of party management I have to do.
I am starting to expand my party invite list, but slowly, in ones and twos, and so they know at least one person there (or that they’re confirmed extroverts happy to socialize w/ vetted strangers). It’s working but it’s a deliberate process that I take care with.
some parties i have thrown
- A party themed around the Dire Straits song My Parties: each attendee had to bring an item from the song
- User generated trivia: attendees bring trivia questions
- Unusual flavours: attendees bring something edible with interesting flavour combinations
- Miracle berries: they confuse your taste receptors so sour things taste sweet
- General birthday inside/outside grill hangout