<fuzzyunclear> How do you eat bagels?
They’re like such bad donuts
<selflathing> couldn’t agree more. “they’ve got good chew”, say disturbed weirdos
why would you willingly pick a food that makes your jaw hurt?
<fuzzyunclear> They make my throat hurt. Maybe I should chew more lol
<selflathing> imagining you swallowing them whole, hating every second of it but doing it anyway to try and fit in, misinterpreting the horrified expression of your lunchtime companions as incredulity that you’re not enjoying yourself
yum yum,” you say through agony and tears. “i sure do love the chew”