<Sassafrassalass> you prefer to eat while:
| poll results | |
|---|---|
| reclining | 16.7% |
| sitting | 61.1% |
| standing | 11.1% |
| pacing | 11.1% |
<soundrotator> shocked at the recliners. what the fuck. you are gonna CHOKE
<Sassafrassalass> recliners are for sure the psychopaths here
<soundrotator> why is it the second most popular answer. what does this say about your follower base smh
<Sassafrassalass> i like to think of this contingent as decadent bohemian types who have a lazy peaceful joie de vivre. but with a low-key psychopath vibe
<selflathing> does it matter what you’re eating? like sure spaghetti no. but popcorn? some mixed nuts? strawberries?
or HOW you’re reclining. i think you’re imagining people craning grapes into their mouths like they’re in a mosaic, but what if you’re lying on your side
pacing has WAY weirder vibes for me. not even snacking while walking, just back and forth across the room. animatedly gesticulating, ranting with your mouth full? iunno man i’m not sure the recliners are the problem here
who even paces? does anyone pace? that’s a cartoon thing to do, i don’t believe real people pace
<Sassafrassalass> i’m definitely imagining grape-mosaic types
or king henry viii…
or people on a chaise longue surrounded by books and rugs in paris or vienna in the 1880s…
i was actually pacing while eating last night. we exist
i was eating brussels sprouts and cornbread and organic rotisserie chicken on a plate with a fork so i couldn’t gesticulate but i’ve done that too before while eating…
there’s an archetype of a person who eats while pacing and gesturing and i am often inspired to live up to that ideal
<selflathing> have you ever grape mosaic’d? i have. feels great to luxuriate. own the decadence, the satisfying cold burst in your mouth
none of that standing calvinist nonsense. enjoy yourself
upcels vs grape descenders
<Sassafrassalass> next they’ll want someone to waft them with a palm leaf smgdh…
the sitters are the calvinists, the pacers are the frenzied romantic ‘wanderer above the sea of fog’ types
have also eaten a full meal while riding bicycle and that is its own obscure archetype. it is of a mixed and doubtful quality… but it has its perks…
<selflathing> i think you’re a boundary pusher. trying to seek the edges of the space, constantly seeing how far you can go
i would never have thought to bike and eat. i’m impressed. i think you should eat on a horse next. eat on a trapeze
<Sassafrassalass> eating on a horse is so incredibly lindy and nomadpilled. entire populations have quaked as they felt the approaching swell of the horseback eaters
there must be a way to combine juggling, eating, and trapezistry…
<selflathing> juggling + eating: ren faire turkey legs
<Sassafrassalass> see that’s hardcore
i was thinking of juggling e.g. grapes, bitesize muffins, hard-boiled eggs
but taking bites in between passes… this has enough of an edge to become a competitive art
<soundrotator> Wait I wasn’t even considering grape reclining, which sounds like the best of all options. I want to be fed brussels sprouts on a chaise longue now
<selflathing> goood, you understand now
<Sassafrassalass> see this is what i was saying with the psychopath thing. recliners are absolutely but covertly unhinged
<selflathing> i have but this one life - nay, mere decades before the grape harvests become raisins on the vine. i shall not be shamed out of my grape descending ways
while you were pacing, i studied the grape